June 01, 2018
Q: What Do I Do with My Used Condom?
Q: What is the best, easiest and safest way to dispose of your used condom? Let's find out!
A: Sex is over and you’re curious as to what to do with your used condom. First of all, high five for doing the right thing and protecting yourself and your partner by correctly using a condom. Rock on with your bad self, do a little victory dance and pat yourself on the back for a job well done! Now that the positive reinforcement is out of the way, what's next?
Do Not Flush
Condoms are not meant to be flushed down the toilet. I realize it’s tempting, and it seems like a perfectly flawless plan, but don’t flush it. Really. You may think you are hiding the evidence, but they will all be back to haunt you or your partner when the toilet backs up and overflows, erupting with a sea of used condoms, likely when you least expect it. Latex condoms are not biodegradable and will not magically disappear once flushed.
Even if your Trojan Intense Ribbed condoms don’t cause a backup or clog in the plumbing inside of the house, by some miracle, they will in the septic tank. And, we all know how sexy a backed up septic tank is. When it comes to toilets, just pee in them after sex to avoid a UTI, wash up with soap and water and move on. Remember, even if you are in a rush, don’t flush-- that condom.
Tie ‘N Toss
After holding onto the condom and withdrawing after an orgasm, it can be tempting to fall asleep. But, this is a time for action, not for aimlessly throwing your condom on the ground or conspicuously leaving it in the tangled sheets.
Stand up and carefully remove the condom from the penis and tie the base of the condom in a knot, to keep the male ejaculate inside the tip of the condom. It'll be slippery, especially if you used a silicone-based lube like Pjur Man Basic, so wrapping it around your finger will be helpful while tying.
Then, scan the area and carefully select your trash can of choice. This is important. Don’t pick the completely empty trash can right next to the community sofa on movie night. Don’t haphazardly throw it on top of the kitchen garbage, where it will be visible to a midnight ramen snacker. If possible, find one with a lid, then wash your hands thoroughly after disposing.
Beware of Pets
Other than privacy from parents, kids, roommates, etc. the main reason to have a trash bin with a secure lid is to keep your used condoms out of the paws and fangs of pets. Their heightened sense of smell allows them to sniff out our most private items like tampons, panties and used condoms as if they are assisting in a treasure hunt for pheromones. There's nothing like coming home from work to find a slew of used intimate items strewn across the living room floor. Yummy.
Trash cans with a swinging lid just won’t cut it, so for a press button lid for the ultimate defense. It’s also best to have a trash liner in place, so your love chum doesn’t stubbornly get stuck to the bottom of the can. Stay in the clear by following this simple practice: Use a condom to prevent a kid and toss it away in a can with a lid.
If you are concerned about stealthing and other shady behaviors, such as fertilization or STD/STI transmission after the fact, you may want to exercise your right to carry a concealed condom. No permit is required. If the tie ‘n toss doesn’t offer you enough peace of mind, try what I call the hot pocket method. Think of it in the literal sense.
For this to work properly, you will need to tie off the end of the condom and have a bag handy of the Ziploc variety. Keep your sandwich-bagged used condom tucked securely tucked in your pocket and take it with you when you leave. Or, keep it stored away in there until they leave and then dispose of it in the manner previously discussed. This may seem like an extreme measure to go to for safeguarding a used condom, but when in doubt-- it’s always better to be safe than sorry.