Q: How can I make my girlfriend have an orgasm?

Q: Basically I've been with my girlfriend for a couple of years, and the sex has been terrific except that she often has a bit of difficulty reaching an orgasm. :( She says she's enjoying it, but I wish I could give her the "big O" lol. She can have one without a problem on her own with a vibrator though. I know how essential the clitoris is in order for a girl to climax so I always try to stimulate it in some way. Is there any suggestions that you could provide? Different positions? foreplay techniques? condoms/lube? girl friendly porn?

A: Here is my advice:

Watch what she does with her vibrator. Her movements, rhythm, motions, pace, etc. Learn from them, and incorporate them into your own movements.

If she doesn't use lube while masturbating, she may have a desensitized clit from the dry friction. Be sure she lubes up. Read all about lube here!

Yes, the clitoris is vital for some women, but many women prefer simultaneous G-Spot and clitoral stimulation (hence the popularity of rabbit vibrators). The G-Spot is best reached with a come hither movement of the hands. When you feel something like a fleshy walnut on front wall (the one closest to the bellybutton) of the vaginal canal, go at it.

Vibrations can be replicated through the vocal cords during oral as well (humdinger). Try various pitches for different sensations, but be careful about getting air into the vaginal canal. Read up on some cunnilingus tips here.

Have you ever tried a vibrating erection ring with her? It basically turns your peen into a vibrator (win, win!). These are super popular with the ladies.

I also suggest reading up on coital alignment technique which involves using specific positions for clitoral stimulation during penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex.

And, of course, there are many other erogenous zones to focus on-- some of which may bring surprising results, like a boobgasm. So, don't get too hung up on just her clit.

Personally, I find textured condoms paired with silicone-based lube to be the most enjoyable combination available.

I wish the best of luck to you both!

Have fun and stay safe!

P.S. Don't forget her ears-- talk dirty and play good music!