20 Quotes about Sex That’ll Give You Dirty Thoughts

Screenwriters, authors, orators and lyricists have the unique gift of being able to express their lustful desires through beautifully strung-together, ladyboner-inducing words and phrases.



Mixing the carnal with the cranial using black and white words can be a complicated and challenging affair, as I've come to find out through my excessive sexting pastime. But, these primal poets pull it off romance and raunchiness in the most compelling way, much to my filthy mind's delight.

Here are some of my favorite wordsmiths' ways of expressing passion and yearning, in this inspirational and entertaining list of the top 20 quotes about sex that’ll give you dirty thoughts:


 “Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.” --Woody Allen

19. Ginuwine

“If you’re horny / Let's do it / Ride it, My Pony / My saddle's waiting / Come on and jump on it.” --from "Pony" by Ginuwine

18. alfred-kinsey3

"A nymphomaniac is someone who has more sex than you do." --Alfred Kinsey


 "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer." --Swami X

16.groucho marx

 “Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.” --Groucho Marx

15. kurtvonnegut

“I think that novels that leave out technology misrepresent life as badly as Victorians misrepresented life by leaving out sex.” --Kurt Vonnegut


 “It's no secret we're close / As sweaty velcro / Like latex, fur and feathers / Stuck together now / They keep me warm on cold nights / We must be quite a sight / In our meat triangle / All tangled, wow.” --from "My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend" by Type O Negative

13.wanda jackson

 “Cause I'm a Fujiyama mama and I'm just about to blow my top. And when I start erupting ain't nobody gonna make me stop.” --from "Fujiyama Mama" by Wanda Jackson

12. georgemichael

“I want your sex / I want your love / I want your.. Sex / It's natural / It's chemical (let's do it) / It's logical / Habitual (can we do it?) / It's sensual / But most of all… / Sex is something we should do / Sex is something for me and you / Sex is natural - sex is good / Not everybody does it / But everybody should / Sex is natural - sex is fun.” --from "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael


 “An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.” --Mae West


 “Let me take off all your clothes. / Disconnect the phone so nobody knows. / Let me light a candle / So that we can make it better. / Makin' love until we drown.” --from "I Wanna Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd


 “I love sex... It should be animalistic, it should be sadistic, it should at times be masochistic... There are few rules and moral conventions.” --Jayne Mansfield


 “The real lover is the man who can thrill you just by touching your head or smiling into your eyes - or just by staring into space.” --Marilyn Monroe


 "Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions." --Aldous Huxley

6. lordsofacid

"Darling come here / f**k me up the… / Sit on your face/ I wanna sit on your face." --from "I Sit on Acid" by Lords of Acid


 "Come take control, just grab a hold / Of my body and mind soon we'll be making it / Honey, oh we're feeling fine / You're my medicine open up and let me in / Darling, you're so great / I can't wait for you to operate / I can't wait for you to operate / When I get this feeling, I need sexual healing." --from "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye


 “It's the first time together and I'm feeling kinda horny / Conventional methods of makin’ love kinda bore me / I wanna knock your block off, get my rocks off / Blow your socks off make sure your G spot's soft.” --from "Doin' It" by LL Cool J 


 “Strong women leave big hickies” --Madonna


 “Girl, all I know is every time you're here / I feel the change / Somethin' moves / I scream your name / Do whatcha gotta do / Darling, I can't get enough of your love babe / Girl, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why / I can't get enough of your love babe.” --from "Can’t Get Enough of Your Love Babe" by Barry White



 “You're gonna make me cum, or I'm gonna kick your a$$!” --from the film Orgazmo, said by T-Rex

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